Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast

Episode 171 | Stay In Your Lane to Become the Best You and Win the Race

• Travis Rosinger and Dawn Rosinger

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Everyday it’s easy to get pulled away and distracted from the things that God has given us to focus on, to get pulled out of the lane He wants us to stay in. It’s something that every marriage has to fight against and be aware of in order to keep the right things in view and to not lose sight of the finish line. What does God have for you and how can you avoid stumbling, slowing down, and ultimately dropping out of the race that we are all called to run as followers of Jesus? It’s a race and a finish line God wants us all to cross and win!!

Join hosts Travis and Dawn Rosinger as they uncover four key steps to making sure the lines in your lane and life are clearly defined so that your marriage and life will benefit from running the race marked out before us all. You will be challenged and encouraged!! Be sure to check this episode out!!

Travis and Dawn Rosinger are the Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast Hosts and Authors of the books, Verbalosity - 7 Steps to a Verbally Generous and More Fulfilling Marriage and their newest book, Gripping -  What Matters Most | A Life and Relationships That Hold on to You

For more information about Travis and Dawn Rosinger go to Loving The Fight

Travis Rosinger:

Hey everyone, we couldn't wait. We couldn't stay silent. We just had to jump back on to spend more time with you guys. Well, with that, we want to thank you for tuning in and welcome to the Loving the Fight Marriage Podcast. My name is Travis and I'm here with my wife and my co-host, Don.

Dawn Rosinger:

Hey everyone. It's so fun to be with you today. If this is your first time joining us, or maybe this is your 100th time, welcome to everyone. This is a highlight of our week.

Travis Rosinger:

It really is, and it's such a great opportunity to just stop and say okay, god, what do you want to teach all of us? Yeah, you're listening and we want to share some things that God's put on our heart. But Don you and I, we absolutely want to grow and learn through this podcast and through life. Jesus is always teaching us. We, just as followers of Him, have to be listening.

Dawn Rosinger:

We are. We are, we're constant students, right Like we're in school continually. There's lessons every single day that we can learn If we just open up our eyes. Now we have options. We can either learn from them or they just happen again and again and again, or hopefully we're getting better.

Travis Rosinger:

I know. Hopefully, yeah, because being stuck in the same exact thing over and over again, that's not good. We're hoping that God is working in your life, as you're listening, working in our lives. Well, it's been a really good week, ups and downs, but some of the ups were that we had a chance to connect with a new set of friends, a couple that we know, that we've actually known them for, I think almost like two years, but we just have never had a chance to just sit down and get to know them better. And it's funny. We went to a new restaurant and we sat down, ate some food together and three hours went by.

Dawn Rosinger:

Yeah, we were there for three hours. We asked them their stories and they asked us ours and it was a great night. But it was fun to actually hear their stories. People that you are kind of, you know, you know them a little bit, and then you actually take the time, you're intentional, to go and say, hey, do you want to go meet us for supper? And you meet them and hear their stories. It's such a cool thing, like what an honor to hear someone's stories. But then you're like wow, like that's cool, like God did that in your life, and you just admire them and so it's just a fun, great night. Something that I know we have to be intentional about growing relationships and there's so many people in the world with so many cool stories.

Travis Rosinger:

Oh man, it's like a treasure, it's like a treasure chest that you dig, dig, dig and then you suddenly discover it and that's what relationships are like. And you're like, wow, I never knew this about you. Thank you for sharing your life, your story. And it was cool. It was a restaurant where it was just a walk up window you order, you sit down. There was no waiter or waitress, so in a way, it was like really uninterrupted time where we weren't kind of feeling the pressure that we had to leave or feeling like we had to answer questions of like more water or this or that, and it was just so special to get to know them and they are exceptional people. Well, I also am a little bit excited and this isn't me sharing this because I'm like trying to brag but I recently just got a I think it was a week ago got a brand new iPad.

Dawn Rosinger:

I haven't had one in years and I got one.

Travis Rosinger:

And the biggest reason is I'm addicted to Swedish. I've said this on this podcast before, but I'm using this iPad to study Swedish every day and then listen to podcasts and read Swedish newspapers and I'm just growing and I'm loving it. It's really about growing in life and getting better, and this is one way that I'm doing that.

Dawn Rosinger:

It's funny because we, you know, dual lingual was part of your Christmas present.

Travis Rosinger:

So you wanted to continue Swedish.

Dawn Rosinger:

Well, I got my Christmas present this week as well, and it just came. Just a few moments ago upstairs, I opened up a box that came. Someone came to our door and our ring doorbell went off and I opened it up and it was exactly what I wanted. I just told you about a month late. Like what?

Travis Rosinger:

I wanted for Christmas.

Dawn Rosinger:

But I'm so excited. It is a black vest that's heated, like how many coils are in there? There's like tons of coils.

Travis Rosinger:

Tons of them.

Dawn Rosinger:

If you guys something you probably don't know about me I'm just cold all the time. I just feel like I want to blanket. And there was a coworker of mine who had this heated vest and I saw it and I was like, oh my word, that's something I would want, but I would never want to buy myself.

Travis Rosinger:

So it'd be a great gift.

Dawn Rosinger:

So I had her send me the link. I sent it to you and Sharon. If you ordered it and it came and I, you know I put it on. I love the vest, but right now the batteries are charging and I'm so excited as soon as this podcast is over soon as we're done, I'm going to go up there and plug in my vest and wear it.

Travis Rosinger:

And oh, just the simple things of life. It's going to be great, yeah, and it was on sale.

Dawn Rosinger:

We're having a warmer winter, so I think it was on sale because it hasn't been as cold. So what the? That is like the perfect gift, travis.

Travis Rosinger:

I think it is. Thank you for your help and sorry it was a month and a half late, but we've talked about your, your watch that I bought you.

Dawn Rosinger:

That you opened up like nine months late. So, we're right on time. Right, you got your Swedish and I got my heated vest, like we had really good weeks.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, well and it's, it's been a great week, but we're also looking forward to get away as a couple, go on a romantic week of, of just a vacation, but unplugging from the world and dialing into each other, and that's just right around the corner. We're going to be leaving in about three weeks to go to Southern Florida, and typically we go there, of course, because we want to heat up this time of year. But you know, in in Minnesota it's usually minus 30 degrees right now in January, but it's weird, tomorrow they're saying it could be 52, and sure.

Dawn Rosinger:

They said it's going to break a ton of records. Wow, like you guys, there is no snow in our yard. None, not even like one drop. It's just crazy. It's the end of January, like normally. We have feet and feet and feet of snow. Yeah, it's shocking.

Travis Rosinger:

It's historical winter. Most people are not used to ever having this happen, or they they really can't remember this happening Like, wow, we are getting a little bit of Florida red up here and Minnesota gets some Southern heat.

Dawn Rosinger:

I think God's blessing us from a horrible winter last year he's just saying hey, you made it through.

Dawn Rosinger:

Like last year, I'm going to give you an easy winter, so that's what he's doing, but anyways, well, you guys, last week I was asked to go out for coffee by someone who's quite a bit younger than me and they just wanted to just talk about life and ministry and, you know, just ask, you know, how they could possibly become the best self, how could you become the best her possible? And so I had a few days to kind of think this over a little bit and I began to just kind of think through my philosophy of life, like what do I believe, how, how can we live the best life ever? And and where do we even get, you know, those thoughts from? And I quickly got this picture in my mind of a track team. I kind of look at life, ministry, marriage or each role that I am like a track team that is running a race and we're all running the race together, but we all have our own different. We know we run with others, but we have our own race to complete and, most importantly, our own lane that we have to stay in. And oftentimes we can get in trouble when we either focus too much on other people's lanes or race or leave our own lane.

Dawn Rosinger:

So I feel like my philosophy in life a little bit is just run the race in the lane that God has for you.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, I've heard you say that. What feels like hundreds of times, Don, and I love your intentionality and intensity for life and running your own race and staying in that lane. I think that's really, really important.

Dawn Rosinger:

I know you and I are actually running a race, but we're running together side by side, probably, but we still have our own lanes. Like I have a lane that I'm in. At the end of my life, I'm gonna stand before God. It's gonna be me and God. It's not gonna be me, you and God. So I have my own lane, you have your own lane. When you're married, you're running it together side by side, hopefully holding hands and enjoying life, but it's still. We have our own lane.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and I think it's really important to recognize that. Sometimes, though, people, even though they have their own lane, their own race to run individually, they get distracted or maybe they get confused in life or even as a couple. You're running your race together and sometimes that couple just hits a wall and because of friction or because of a lack of clarity about their life together or their future together, then they end up having issues and there's not a lot of progress in their marriage or in their life.

Dawn Rosinger:

As I was thinking through kind of this philosophy of life that I really feel like I've carried with me for quite a few years, the verses came to my mind exactly where Hebrews 12, one through three, and I just wanna read them to you and let you know.

Dawn Rosinger:

This is kind of where I got some of my goals, my keys for just living life. But Hebrews 12 says this therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith, for the joy set before him. He endured the cross, scorned in its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. I love these verses because they give us four things that we need to do to cross that finish line and be the best version of ourselves possible. It kind of gives us a formula to win also, not just in life, in our own race, but in marriage as well. I feel like man. It just goes hand in hand.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and it helps us to stay in our lane. I mean, what this is describing is a lane, and I don't know why, but every time I read this, every time I hear you read this on this passage, it's like I just got out of a hot shower and I'm perfectly clean. I'm like whoa, that is so good what we just read. I needed to hear that. But again, it's putting up parameters and it's helping us to understand how to live, how to act, where to run and how to get there.

Dawn Rosinger:

And I think it's just encouraging me because it's reminding me that God has something for me in my own race, that I can run. But it gives us kind of a formula. So we're gonna just dig through these few verses and let's pull out those four things. What is this verse saying? And again, kind of a philosophy of life, a philosophy of marriage, something that's good, that we could live by and honestly succeed and make it to the finish line.

Travis Rosinger:

So, to be clear, the four things that we're talking about here is throw off. Run with perseverance, fix our eyes on Jesus and consider. And as we think about throw off, I think one of the things we need to ask ourselves is what needs to be thrown off, like, what is in our life, what is weighing us down and really what is weighing our marriages down? And as I thought about that, I immediately think of past guilt. There are so many people in marriages and whether it's the marriage itself or the individual in the marriage that you're thinking about your past and you're like, oh, why did we do that together? Why did I do that as a person?

Travis Rosinger:

And the reality is you can't change your past and so part of getting rid of that is just acknowledging okay, god's willing to forgive me and I need to let go, and just dumping that, getting rid of that weight. But it could be a current habit that needs to be broken Maybe it's overeating or drinking or a negative attitude and just being honest and addressing it. And the reality is we can't get rid of things until we call them out. And then again we're just like, okay, this has got to go, or maybe it's carrying a grudge against your spouse or walking in unforgiveness, just constantly keeping our record of wrongs when the Bible says we're not supposed to do that. And that could be like getting rid of that weight or even wasting time or laziness no-transcript. What is that for you, what is that for your marriage? That you need to stop and just really analyze, like this passage is saying, and throw it off, get rid of it.

Dawn Rosinger:

It's funny because if we think of a race and like running around a track, when you run and you have ankle weights on, honestly what does it do? It just slows you down. If you're carrying a backpack with 20 pounds in it or like all these books, you're gonna be slow. It's honestly just slowing you down. You're not. You might make it to the finish line, but you're gonna be unbelievably tired. You're gonna be worn out. You're gonna wanna give up along the way. So why not just get rid of it? Let go of that backpack, let go of those weights that are around your ankle.

Dawn Rosinger:

The next one is this run with perseverance. So what is perseverance? That's kind of a word that maybe you know not be heard quite as often, but perseverance is not giving up. It's a persistence and a tenacity, the effort required to do something and keep doing it till the end, even if it's hard. That's according to Vocabularycom, but I love that you're keeping. You're doing it till the end. Even if it's hard, you're running. You're not giving up.

Dawn Rosinger:

So what do you need to run with perseverance? Honestly, you need to just stop and go. Okay, are my buckets filled up? If I'm gonna run this race to the end, I gotta make sure that I'm filling myself up and filling my buckets up, and there's a lot of things that our buckets need to be filled up, full so we don't quit, we don't walk away, and the first one is just spending time with people who win at life, with Jesus and with relationship. So making sure that we're just spending that time, first and foremost, with Jesus, with other people that are filling us up, and with relationships that are healthy. How do we make sure that our bucket is full? Honestly, sometimes just stopping and slowing down and letting your body, mind and soul rest. Sometimes you just need rest so that you can give out, so that you can continue in the race.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, I think any runner. In between races they gotta catch their breath, they gotta relax and just say, okay, I'm gonna get some rest so that I can run hard at the next race.

Dawn Rosinger:

It's really just making sure you never let yourself get over depleted. Fill your bucket back up when maybe it's half empty, instead of waiting until you're completely on E and we do that with our gas tank. Sometimes we get all the way down there but don't let that happen in life. I mean, it's different when it's a car, but when you feel like your body is just completely on E, man, you've gone too far. You need to make sure that you're replenishing yourself.

Travis Rosinger:

Well, the race of life, the race of marriage, this perseverance and all of this, I mean it's a marathon, right? And I think one of my favorite parts of this passage is this next part, and that is to fix your eyes on Jesus and your race. I mean, after all, he is the finish line, he is the goal. So we, as runners we talked about this a little bit earlier, but we don't wanna get distracted by other runners or other things in life. We don't wanna compare ourselves to others or other marriages. We need to focus on our own marriage. We need to focus on making ourselves better so that we're a better spouse in our marriage, but also what can make our marriage better? And Jesus is a great starting place, so there's no win in comparison.

Travis Rosinger:

I mean, if you think about it, when we focus on others, what are we doing? We're actually taking our eyes off of Jesus and man. If there is any kind of great advice for marriage or for us as individuals, it's just to look at Jesus. Turn your eyes on Jesus and make sure he is the prize, the goal, the finish line in your life, and so maybe determine what is your gaze really locked on right now? Get honest with yourself. Are you pouring more energy and time and your passion into your career? Or is it money, or is it pleasure, or is it Jesus? Because the cool thing about Jesus is he will always satisfy, he will never let you down and never disappoint.

Dawn Rosinger:

The last thing, according to these verses, to become the best you, to make sure that you stay in your lane and finish the race right is. This is great. Consider, consider what Jesus did Carefully assess how Jesus handled trials in this life. Consider what he endured. So the trials in life don't take you out of the race and make you give up and walk away. You know what Jesus didn't give up. He's the ultimate example. He didn't walk away when it got too hard. He didn't get too tired or fed up with how people treated him and just throw up his hands in the air and say you know, that's it, you know I'm done, I'm walking away. He finished the race that was set out before him. Even Jesus had a race. He had a lane that he had to run and he successfully made it to that finished line. And just look what he did by him finishing race, his race. Look what it did for us.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, it's so cool too, because his race involved, you know, being led by the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. His race involved, you know, constant ridicule and just being put down by the Pharisees, by the Sadducees I'm reading the book of John right now and they were constantly plotting to kill him. And then, ultimately, he's telling his disciples, his followers hey, my lane, my race, is going to take me to Jerusalem and they are going to crucify me. And even one of his closest friends, peter, jumps in front of him and it becomes an obstacle in his lane and his race and he's like get behind me, satan. And he's going to the cross, he's going to die for the sins of the world. And, wow, that is powerful for our marriages, that is powerful for us as individuals, and we don't want to forget these important pieces of truth.

Dawn Rosinger:

I think it's just so important. Probably the purpose of this particular podcast episode is just to remember that we all have a race that God has given us. We're all running, staying your lane honestly, keep your eyes focused on God and finish, endure, stay till the end and make sure that you're winning at life, winning at marriage, winning the race that God has set before us.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, so we want to leave you with this picture. Don you and I, we ended up seeing in the news twice. There was an 89 year old lady and a 90 year old lady, and this was just in the last week. The 90 year old lady set some new I think it was like a world record and she was running around a literal track like an Olympic stadium. She looked amazing and I looked at her. I was like how the heck is this woman running that fast at 90 years of age, running in her lane and then, like a couple days later, I saw a picture of a lady that was 89, and not only was she running, she was jumping hurdles Crazy.

Dawn Rosinger:

Her legs were just so defined like oh, my word, but such a great picture that God has given us each a race. Those ladies, obviously they have persevered, they have fixed their eyes on something. They see the finish line and they're going to make it to the end.

Travis Rosinger:

It's paid off. They're running like no one else, and that's the exact thing that we want for you guys, for your marriage. We want you to run like no one else, with Jesus being the ultimate goal. Well, hey, we want to thank you for listening to this episode of the loving the fight marriage podcast.

Dawn Rosinger:

Remember, guys, you can do it. You got this. Keep loving the fight. We'll see you next time.