Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast

Episode 169 | Does Your Marriage Need a Relationship Check Up?

• Travis Rosinger and Dawn Rosinger

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What does it look like to take great care of your body and make sure that it stays in good health whenever possible? There are some pretty obvious ways that we can do that but there are also some not so obvious ways that we can invest in our health. How about your spiritual heart and your soul? How do you know if they are where they should be on a spiritual trajectory of growth and health? Marriages need that same feedback as our bodies and our hearts. In the same way, our marriages need a chance, some priceless moments, to stop and analyze where they are at and what it takes to get them where they should be!

Join hosts Travis and Dawn Rosinger as they process the idea of an annual physical, a spiritual heart check, and a marriage exam. There are some key steps every couple should do to take care of themselves, their hearts and their relationship. Join Travis and Dawn as they challenge  couples to think beyond good intentions to take the needed steps to be intentional and stay healthy in the most important areas of life!

Travis and Dawn Rosinger are the Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast Hosts and Authors of the books, Verbalosity - 7 Steps to a Verbally Generous and More Fulfilling Marriage and their newest book, Gripping -  What Matters Most | A Life and Relationships That Hold on to You

For more information about Travis and Dawn Rosinger go to Loving The Fight

Travis Rosinger:

So why are we doing this podcast? Why do you hear the sound of my voice and why are we here one more time? Well, it's because we love Jesus, we love people, we love marriage and we want to make a difference in the world alongside of you and your spouse. Can you model a love that Jesus had for the church? You are helping to change the world through your example. Well, hey guys, we want to welcome you to the Loving the Fight Marriage podcast. My name is Travis and I am here with my wife, don.

Dawn Rosinger:

Hey everyone, I can't echo enough what Travis just said. We definitely love Jesus, we love encouraging marriages and we are just like you. We are in the same boat where we are just fighting for love, fighting for our marriage as well.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, I love that you said that, don, because I mean, let's be honest, we are flawed people. We make mistakes all the time. This episode, this podcast, is nothing to do with.

Travis Rosinger:

Like, hey, look at us you know, kind of like our social media reel to try to prove something to everybody else. We are just real people and that's part of why we talk about our week and what's been going on, or maybe some of the mess ups or successes that we have in life. It's because we are just human and it's fun to be able to share that vulnerability with other couples. Man, this has been a packed week, just packed with good things, but also packed with hard work and getting a lot done. But we also had some incredible downtime, didn't we?

Dawn Rosinger:

Don. Oh, we sure did, man. We were able to spend so much fun time with multiple groups of people.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, we had a chance to get in the car. We drove almost an hour and we went to a restaurant kind of in the middle of nowhere at least it feels like that, but it was a small town here in Minnesota and it's a restaurant that was built into a store from the 1960s, so the store is still there. It's been around forever. But then we got to eat in the other side of the store, which is the restaurant. Yeah, it's great and it was so cool. It's a bakery, a restaurant, an event center, but some really great food. That is like a scratch kitchen, like they made it like you would at home. You know what?

Dawn Rosinger:

it was so cool because we just got a last minute call from some of our friends and we tell our friends, hey, sometimes last minute actually works best for us. So they called us. We had plans that they had fallen through. They had plans that they had fallen through. They were like, hey, do you want to meet us at this restaurant? And so we did, and we got to go and connect, eat, you know, and the food was phenomenal, it was great food and just really have a fun night out.

Dawn Rosinger:

But then we were also able to spend plenty of time with parents this weekend and then with our kids and our grandkids, but then, at the same time, we're just those people that we want to make sure that we're productive on our days off. So we realized that our house was getting a little dusty, even though there's only two of us in here. Like, let's clean it.

Travis Rosinger:

It was time. Yeah, it was time. Let's just put it that way.

Dawn Rosinger:

You guys were really clean people. But man, it's funny how dust just collects in with a fireplace. I think it moves a little bit more. So we're like, okay, let's swim for the floors and sweep and mop and all that stuff and maybe to clarify we just don't.

Travis Rosinger:

we're not in the clutter, so our house is very orderly, organized, straightened up, but dust does just collect and what do you do? But actually that made the weekend really nice, because then we all of a sudden sit down and we're in this really clean house.

Dawn Rosinger:

I love that feeling you can relax, it's so wonderful, but a great last couple days, for sure, it was so much fun. Well, you know what? Two days ago I came home in the morning and I'm like hey, travis, I just want you to know. Like don't squeeze me extra hard or hug me. My right arm is a little sore, and the reason my arm was sore is because I had to get my tetanus shot.

Travis Rosinger:

Go ahead. At first I thought you got into a bar fight or something.

Dawn Rosinger:

No, I know All right.

Travis Rosinger:

An argument with a lady at Target in aisle 15.

Dawn Rosinger:

Well, I had to get my tetanus shot, I had to get a flu shot and then the same arm. They took out like four or five miles of blood and so you're probably wondering what in the world, you know, why, did you need all these things? Well, I get excited because every year we are pretty consistent with this we do our annual physical exams. Like the full thing and we get excited. It's January.

Dawn Rosinger:

right now we're like hey we're due for one and I scheduled the appointment and I went in and they're like hey, you need a couple of things. Again, we are pretty intentional on getting our yearly physicals, with all the blood work. But why? Why do we feel like this is important? It's something that we decided a long time ago. Well, first off, they're just free. They are completely free. If you guys have medical insurance, yearly physicals are free because they're considered preventative, at least in the United States of America they are and they're worth doing.

Travis Rosinger:

For me it's like a hot shower. You get out and you're like, oh, I just took care of my body. I feel so good.

Dawn Rosinger:

Yeah, why wouldn't you take advantage of this free service? That actually is really good for you? Another reason is because it gives you peace of mind that your body is doing OK. Like our bodies are weird, like we get these weird pains here and there and you're like is everything OK? Well, it just kind of gives you that peace of mind. Hey, your numbers look good, everything's right, you're able to talk to a doctor. So just that peace of mind. But it also would give you a warning that something in your body could be off and maybe you need to change something if needed, if your numbers are off and maybe, hey, there's something in my life that I need to do differently. So why not have that peace of mind and why not help the future if you can? I know I get excited for mine every year. I can't wait to see the numbers on how I'm doing, but there's a little bit of prep work, don't you think going?

Travis Rosinger:

into physical it can be. At least for me there is. I don't like the food prep side. Yeah, so frustrating Well.

Dawn Rosinger:

I just think it's funny because I honestly I plan out my outfits because I admit I wear my light as close, so my weight is not too high, and in the winter it's kind of hard because you have a couple layers on man. What are our lightest clothes? So then when I jump on that scale I'm like, ah, what is that?

Travis Rosinger:

I know I hate getting weighed with like 40 pounds of clothes because it's the winter and so it's going to be a ton of extra weight.

Dawn Rosinger:

You know another thing I do. I just make sure that my armpits and my legs are shaved. Ok, you guys, it's winter. Honestly, you don't see the need for that as much because no one sees your legs. But I'm like, oh, I'm going for my physical. Someone's going to see my legs behind you.

Travis Rosinger:

Maybe it's a pound of hair too, so you'll be lighter.

Dawn Rosinger:

It's never that much, but that's just something that'll come on, I know, admit it, wait, you know women out there. I'm sure you do the same thing. But then another thing is I always schedule it right away in the morning. The reason I do that is because I'm a huge coffee drinker and these are fasting labs and I don't want to go too long without my cup of coffee. I actually am more concerned about losing my coffee than I am my food. I could fast for probably quite a while, but man, I want that cup of coffee. So if I do it right away in the morning, I can just go and still indulge in that cup of coffee.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, me too. I don't want to do it any other way. I'd love to be able to drink coffee and have breakfast. Breakfast is huge for me, so I'm with you, I do the exact same thing.

Dawn Rosinger:

Well, you know what, when I went in on Thursday, there was a little problem. Right away I went into my doctor and she began to look at my last year's physical. I only see her once a year because I'm pretty healthy, I feel like, in general. And she looked at it she's like man, your labs from last year were so great, I don't think we need to do them. I don't think we need to check your cholesterol. And I was like wait, no, I had this panic. I'm like no, I love this. I live for these moments. I love when you stick me and take my blood and check my numbers. And I was like no way you have to do this. This is the reason I do my physicals. I want the full work up in all the labs.

Dawn Rosinger:

So I actually was able to convince her that I needed to have these labs. I was like you know what High cholesterol kind of runs in my family? A little bit, I just always want to make sure that I'm on the right track and I don't want to miss year, because then I have to make it up next year if something happens. And she's like sure, OK, that makes sense. So there's a family history. I'm like yep, absolutely, she was OK, we'll put that down Family history. And sure enough, they took all my labs. It worked.

Travis Rosinger:

Have you ever thought of being a used car salesman? You sold it and she went for it. It worked Way to go.

Dawn Rosinger:

Well, my doctor did the physical and I got all my shots. They said that I needed my tetanus shot. I was up. You have to get those every 10 years. So I was up, I needed that, I needed my flu shot and then. So they did all of those things. I'm like absolutely. And she's like, ok, and then you have to have this. And I'm like absolutely, like, get excited, like let's get this all done. Why procrastinate in any way? And then I left smiling. I was excited that I had gotten this physical and I drove straight to Panera and got a really good cup of coffee Smart.

Dawn Rosinger:

I like Panera coffee, so that was good.

Travis Rosinger:

It's what you're supposed to do.

Dawn Rosinger:

Well, I was working a little bit at Panera. I just wrapped my computer ahead some work to do, and so I was in the booth and drinking my coffee and, sure enough, a notification came through and my lab works were done. I was like, oh, I get super excited. I'm like, let's open up this email. It's so cool that you have an app and you can get all of your blood test results. And I looked through all of my numbers and, sure enough, every number. I was excited because everything was normal. There was nothing that I had to be concerned about, and I'm not saying that to Bragg, I'm just excited that, hey, we must be doing something right. We're trying to love a healthy lifestyle to a point. Obviously, we still have our chocolate chip, cookie dough indulges or whatever. But I was excited that the numbers were good.

Travis Rosinger:

And thanks be to God Absolutely. We give all glory and credit to God. But yeah, you've got to do your part as well. God does His, we do ours.

Dawn Rosinger:

So yearly physical exams are important because they can just truly reduce stress or help you catch a problem before it's out of control. So I had my yearly physical this week, but you had your dental cleaning. Oh man Like your dental cleaning and to you you are kind of abnormal because you love dental cleaning.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and so go ahead, travis.

Dawn Rosinger:

go ahead and just share your feelings about dental cleanings and why?

Travis Rosinger:

they are important. Oh my gosh, Thanks for asking, Don. I could talk about this for like 24 hours straight, I mean for me you're abnormal in this area, by the way.

Travis Rosinger:

Maybe I am, but for me, you know, being able to go in yes, I understand that when they take the metal instrument and they scrape it on the side of your tooth, I get it Most people that's like dragging your fingers across a chalkboard or somebody squealing their tires outside of your bedroom at two in the morning. It's annoying, it's not great, but you know what? For me it's like the ultimate back scratch. You know somebody getting that spot that you can't reach on your own and you're dying to get it itched. And then they do and it's gone. Yeah, funny. Yeah, I know that sounds dumb, but I'm like, oh my gosh, and I walk out and I'm like I just took really good care of my body. I mean, the bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, like God dwells inside of us and we are expected to like take care of our bodies.

Travis Rosinger:

So I walk out and I feel great. But there's other things you know, like when you get rid of all the tartar and the plaque, especially the plaque inside of your teeth. They say that when people have less plaque, there's less plaque, you know, in their heart or in the arteries. So I just I'm like that's another piece of the you know, the big, large tetris puzzle and I want to do my part, I think it's funny because when you get a dental cleaning, you equate it to like a massage for the teeth.

Travis Rosinger:

Yes, like you're, like, it's just as good as massage.

Dawn Rosinger:

I don't know if anyone who will actually agree with that, but we have a great dentist. She's awesome. I have to get better on my dental cleanings a little bit, just because I have a little bit more dental anxiety than you do, but so needed something that we have to do.

Travis Rosinger:

So, don, I feel like you and I, but a lot of people that are listening. We're all probably many of us are really good at making sure that our bodies get checked out, that we're trying to go in for the annual physical or get our teeth cleaned every six months. But here's a question or maybe two how often do we do this spiritually to make sure that we are spiritually healthy, you know, a spiritual checkup? Or how often do we do this with our marriages to make sure that our marriages are healthy?

Dawn Rosinger:

that our relationship is healthy. We don't get that text reminder or that email reminder. You know, to check on a spiritually like we do from the medical clinic or from our pharmacy and we or for our marriages as well we don't get that. Hey, you need to check. Like sometimes that text helps us like oh yeah, absolutely we need to set up this appointment, but it's something that we have to be aware of to make sure that we're completely healthy.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and so, of course, this is partly a reminder to all of you listening get in to see your doctor, get in to see your dentist, but also, especially, do you have planned yearly spiritual exams?

Travis Rosinger:

Where you go in and you get examined. You know you examine your heart, you allow God to examine you, whatever that might look like, but are you stopping? You know it's the early part of a new year and are you allowing God to really just sift your heart? Are you examining your heart but also, do you have planned yearly marriage exams, you know, or checkups? Are you doing things that are helping to really make sure that your marriage is healthy? And then, literally, at least once or twice a year, you're going? Okay, where are we actually at Right?

Dawn Rosinger:

yes, where are we at what needs to get better. You know, I think it's really easy for us to figure out, hey, what are some ways for us to stay physically healthy? So, when we go in for that physical, when we go get that blood work, that our numbers come back and we're doing our part. Yeah, sometimes our bodies do things that, hey, like we, they're out of control, but there's definitely things that we can do to stay physically healthy. Honestly, it's just taking care of our body. I love how you said our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, right, like we want to make sure we're taking care of our bodies. So it's really important to just step back and say what am I actually putting into my body?

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, Like.

Dawn Rosinger:

I mean garbage in, garbage out, kind of that same concept. So what type of food are you eating? Are you getting the proper exercise that you need? Sleep, sleep is so important. You can't have, work super hard and expend all this energy but not restore yourself through sleep or water. Man, our bodies need water, like that's something that we've tried to get better at this list last year, and I love it. I just feel so much healthier.

Travis Rosinger:

I know I'm addicted to water now. I just so love this stuff and it makes me feel so much healthier and better.

Dawn Rosinger:

I mean just different things, like vitamins, like simple vitamins. A multivitamin every day, vitamin D we live in Minnesota like making sure that we're getting enough of that, but just making sure that our body has what it needs nourishment-wise, nutrition-wise. Also just staying away from substances that hurt your body. I feel like that is something that a lot of people struggle with. They're putting something in their body that's just not good for them, either over a big of doses of alcohol or drugs or marijuana, stuff that probably isn't good for our body. That should not be there. It's a foreign substance. It's not supposed to be in our body.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and that's so cool. You say that because you said large amounts, certainly, but even small amounts of those things over time start to build up in our damaging those kind of chemicals like alcohol or tobacco or drugs or whatever that would be. But also I like that you said vitamins because there was a study that just came out it was on national news here in the US this week that when 70-year-olds took a vitamin one multivitamin a day I think they said Centrum Silver was the brand. Yeah, that's what they're studying when they took it all of a sudden for you know, it really helped their memory for the next two or three years.

Dawn Rosinger:

I think they said increase it by like two years or something like that. Like their memory was much better.

Travis Rosinger:

And you wouldn't think so. This little pill once a day, but that intentionality really adds up. But what about spiritually?

Dawn Rosinger:

I know it's easy to think oh, this is what physically makes us healthy, but what does what spiritually makes us healthy?

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and it's really that same intentionality, just like that little pill taking it, going after Jesus, going after God, going after God's kingdom. And Jesus put it this way in Matthew 633. He said seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. And I love that, because do you notice what's not there? It doesn't say seek to have the most incredible career or just spend 10 hours a day in the gym and to have the perfect body. Yes, we need to be healthy and eat right and sleep right and work out, but it isn't to the point of vanity and he's not talking about building up massive amounts of wealth, but he's saying seek God's kingdom, seek God's righteousness. So how do we do that? How do we seek God first? Well, it's getting up in the morning and it's praying or it's reading your Bible or connecting in godly community.

Dawn Rosinger:

I mean, those are things that make such a difference.

Travis Rosinger:

I know for me. Right now I'm reading through the book of Proverbs, but I'm also reading through the book of John and I'm excited every day because I feel like God is speaking to me and it's his righteousness. Just as I get closer to him, his righteousness just starts to splash into my soul and makes me wanna live right and think right and do the right things. But that godly community is so powerful. But one of some of the other ways too is just podcasts or messages from churches or pastors that point us to Christ and, of course, spiritual conversations just talking about God or what he means to you, or what he's been speaking to you lately, or maybe what he brought you out of and the power of God from your past and how you wouldn't be where you're at today if he wouldn't have intervened.

Dawn Rosinger:

Absolutely. Yep. Well, this is a marriage podcast, so I think it's so important to look at the making sure that our marriages are healthy. What are some ways, just like we can. We know how to make us physically healthy, we can think of ways how to make us spiritually healthy, but what are ways that we can make sure that our marriage is healthy? So then, if we have that yearly time where we just stop and evaluate our marriages, like, hey, we're scoring pretty high, that our numbers are pretty well, or pretty low.

Dawn Rosinger:

Yes, exactly so, then you can make it better. But honestly, I think the first and foremost thing is that God has to be number one in each of your lives individually. If God is number one in your lives individually, you're gonna just treat each other differently. You're gonna treat each other better. Honestly, your whole attitude about life is just gonna be much better than going in the right direction. A way to make your marriage healthy is just to make sure that you have that daily communication, the times where you're stopping and yes, you're letting exchanging information about your day. But then, honestly, how are you feeling? How are you doing? What is there a concerns that you have Spending time together, like we love our consistent Wednesday nights, kind of our date night and so make sure that you have time where you're spending together consistently, just the two of you.

Dawn Rosinger:

Even if you have little kids and you can't get away, man, put them to bed early and have a date night at home.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, yeah, give them a little melatonin. I think they make that for kids. I'm not a doctor, I'm not recommending that, but yeah, make it a special night. And I think, Don, for us, if we didn't have that time where we get out, explore and live life and have those dates, we would just be roommates.

Dawn Rosinger:

We would just be marriage you know, business partners I should say and so it just breathes new life, absolutely, yep, you know, in another way, just to make sure that your marriage is healthy. One way to make sure the numbers are going in the right direction is to remove expectations and put each other's needs above your own and this man, I'm preaching the choir. This is hard Sometimes. I just have these expectations that come up, or, man, my needs seem a little bit greater. But, honestly, to be healthy and whole, remove those expectations and look at your spouse and say, hey, what do you need today? What can I do? How can I serve you? And the next one, and probably unbelievably important, is just to be grateful. Be grateful for your spouse, be grateful for the person that God created them to be, the chances that you have time to just laugh and enjoy each other and just what they're bringing to the marriage. Be grateful for all of those things.

Travis Rosinger:

And some of you might be thinking well, how, how do we do that? Well, of course, with physical exams. It's pretty easy, isn't it, don? Like you just went in and you got your blood work done, you saw the doctor and so you get your results back. But in the same way, we need to stop and we need to examine our lives, our hearts before God and, of course, our marriages. And when it comes to marriages, I think with God and with even marriage, it's going to the Bible and that's part of the exam. If you will, it is yes and just digging in. And sometimes there's verses in marriage that you can just say okay, wait, we're not where this verse says we should be with communication or with loving or sacrifice for one another. But sometimes there's also ways that we can kind of check our relationship, and it's through just looking at the example of other marriages or other people how they behaved in the Bible.

Travis Rosinger:

That set a great example, and I immediately think of Priscilla and Aquila. There's some of our, you know.

Dawn Rosinger:

Marriage married heroes in the Bible.

Travis Rosinger:

Why? Because they were always together. They were Priscilla and Aquila husband and wife team that were friends of Paul the apostle, but they were just like, joined at the hip, always together. They were always focused on God and his kingdom and they set this incredible example. The Bible says they even had a church that met in their home, and so one way that we can kind of get that exam again is to look at our own lives and say wait, is our marriage like Priscilla and Aquila? You know they were making a difference in God's kingdom and they stayed together and their marriage was strong. So just a quick tip of going to those marriages and saying, okay, what's the best part of those? Do we have that going on in our marriage?

Dawn Rosinger:

You know what we're trying to encourage you with today. What we want to leave you with today is this exams won't happen unless you're intentional and you plan them. I wasn't just going to go get a physical exam. On its own it wasn't going to appear on the calendar. I had to be intentional and call the doctor and set up the appointment and actually go. And that's the same thing spiritually and with your marriage. Are you being intentional and are you planning those evaluations? Are you taking time for a physical exam, for a spiritual exam and for a relational marriage exam? Just, it's time to do that. Take that intentionality and go ahead and just plan it. Put it on your calendar, Make sure that everything's looking good, so then you're at peace, you can move forward. Or maybe, if there's things to work on that, hey, let's stop and let's work on this.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, be honest. Maybe it's going to a marriage counselor, maybe it's going to a marriage conference. Or, for sure, getting away once a year for a week as a married couple without the kids, but also going to a conference where it's just a spiritual conference just focused on God. Or maybe, as a couple, you rent a prayer cabin and you get away and you just pray for the weekend. But whatever you need to do, dial it in, make a difference, make a change and God is going to bless you.

Dawn Rosinger:

Definitely. You know what Focusing on the preventative is much easier than focusing on the other side when there's already problems that have arised.

Travis Rosinger:

Well, hey guys, we want to thank you for listening to this episode of the Loving the Fight Marriage Podcast.

Dawn Rosinger:

Remember, you can do it. You got this. Keep loving the fight. We'll see you next time. Let's go.