Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast

Episode 156 | Get The Simple Life Now, for You and Your Marriage

• Travis Rosinger and Dawn Rosinger

Share episode

Almost everything seems appealing at first, but then after a little while, it can start to feel like a decision that you regret, a commitment that you never should have made to begin with. One decision piled on top of another and before you know it, you have a life and marriage that feels overwhelming and out of control. It's then, that a longing for the simple life comes bubbling  up in your emotions and your heart and races through your mind. "Even when it comes to God, life used to be so simple," you think to yourself. "I just want a deep connection with my Heavenly Father again."

Join hosts Travis and Dawn Rosinger for a discussion about their experience of stepping back into time, back into an 1880's life that is being lived right now. It was through this recent interaction that they began to think through what needs to go from their lives and marriage, what needs to be stripped away. By listening to this episode, you will be inspired to reexamine what should be removed from your over-scheduled and over committed life. Don't miss it!!

Travis and Dawn Rosinger are the Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast Hosts and Authors of the books, Verbalosity - 7 Steps to a Verbally Generous and More Fulfilling Marriage and their newest book, Gripping -  What Matters Most | A Life and Relationships That Hold on to You

For more information about Travis and Dawn Rosinger go to Loving The Fight

Dawn Rosinger:

Welcome to the loving the fight marriage podcast. If this is your first time listening, it's so great to have you or maybe you are a regular listener and we just want to welcome you back to the loving the fight marriage podcast. I'm sitting here with my husband and my co-host, travis.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, it's on. Here we go again. I'm so glad that you're listening and this is a chance for all of us to really just slow down and stop and focus on Jesus and marriage and life. Right, we're all living, you're listening to this, we're talking, and so it's really cool to be able to just focus on what matters most.

Dawn Rosinger:

Right, absolutely, and that is marriage. So, since we're married, that definitely marriage is a huge part of our life, and so we are always looking for things in our day and our life, in our week, that really just encourage us in marriage, and we want to pass it on to you. Well, this last week we had something fun happen it was one of our anniversaries and it's funny they just keep coming here every year.

Travis Rosinger:

They do, they do yes.

Dawn Rosinger:

Time goes faster and faster, but we got to celebrate this last Tuesday, our marriage of 31 years.

Travis Rosinger:

Wow, that's crazy. I remember when it was 13 years and now suddenly 31 years and they have been full fun wild years Right.

Dawn Rosinger:

And it's funny when they say that you still feel like you're 19. I really do. I feel like I'm still that 19 year old bride that married you 31 years ago. Just crazy, but so fun. We've learned so many things along the way. Well, our anniversary was on Tuesday, but we kind of had a busy work day, had a couple of things even that evening, so we did a quick supper, but we thought you know what we will celebrate on our day off? And, like we said many times, our days off are Thursdays and Fridays, since we work on the weekends. So Thursday morning we woke up and we decided, hey, we want to celebrate our anniversary, we want to try something new, and so we took out the you know our GPS. We took out our phones and started to Google some things and we decided that we were going to go to a town in southeastern Minnesota called Lanesboro, minnesota.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, lanesboro it's interesting because it's not like New York City or Houston, texas. It's this little little town. But in Minnesota people throughout the years have talked about it to us quite a bit and they just, you know, are like hey, it's historical, it's quaint, it's just kind of a fun day trip or maybe overnight, right.

Dawn Rosinger:

And it's cool because it's only two hours and five minutes from our house, so it's not that far, but again some place that we haven't gone in southeastern Minnesota. So we woke up, grabbed our coffee, jumped in the car and we were so excited. We had great weeks at work last week but it was just it's been super busy. We had fall kickoff, just I'm the passenger groups and so I was getting groups ready and just kind of a busier week, and so to have that morning off and jump in the car with our coffee and just breathing, go, oh, we can play today, we can do whatever we want, we can celebrate our marriage together.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and pure sun. Remember, we had to throw our sunglasses on and we're just cruising down the road and we were talking, listening to podcasts. So spectacular even the music that we put on on this beautiful, gorgeous sunny day and a chance to really get away from home and celebrate our anniversary in a new place, a new adventure.

Dawn Rosinger:

Brand new place. And one thing about Lanesborough, minnesota is it's just a small, cute, clean little town, but there is, I think, it's known for its biking, so there's bike trails all around. We weren't going to go biking, but we thought we'd still visit this town have some lunch, but all around it's kind of an Amish community, so there's a lot of Amish people that live down there, and so you have the buggy signs and the horse poop on the side of the roads and just a lot of Amish furniture that you see.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and you can also visit one of the largest caves in America down there and you can go tour it. And just you know, kind of tucked in between these Amish farms somewhere and near this little town and the little town of Lanesborough too, has this huge kind of big rock bluff that is kind of a rock wall.

Dawn Rosinger:

That's next to the downtown and so a river, I think, running through it, or a dam or something.

Travis Rosinger:

Beautiful river and then it's just kind of these rolling hills. It's kind of getting near the southeastern portion of the United States where there's a lot of bluffs or a lot of high little kind of hills, mountains.

Dawn Rosinger:

Well, after our two hour car ride, after having some great conversations we listened to an amazing podcast and some good spiritual conversations we rolled into town and we immediately went to I think it was called Petal Pusher. It was a restaurant there.

Dawn Rosinger:

And we had really good burgers and just sat out and enjoyed the beautiful sunshine, walked through the little town, through the little stores, just kind of window shopped a little bit, went to a bakery and then we decided, hey, either we're going to go to the cave or there's something else we can do. We can go and visit some of the Amish farms and we were just fascinated with people that live simple lives and just the Amish community in general, and they make amazing products and they're great bakers. We're like you know what? Let's do this. We haven't done this before. Let's grab a map and figure out how we can get to their farms and go visit them and buy some of their goods. You found the map.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, I found the map. It was almost like a hidden treasure, Like it was buried in some random online website, but you couldn't go to any of these Amish farms. At least that we could tell by using a GPS, Like they don't use electricity.

Dawn Rosinger:

Their addresses aren't listed. I don't think in there.

Travis Rosinger:

They're not. They don't have technology around them or in their lives, and so, you know, you actually have to get an old school map to be able to hunt their you know farms down.

Dawn Rosinger:

We're not the greatest with them. We realized that because we started off heading to one of the first farms and I think we drove past it. We were like we kind of got lost. We're like, oh, we'll just try the second one instead. And so we were able to find this farm on this dirt road Beautiful farm, honestly. The sun was shining, it was just a beautiful day and we get to the end of the driveway. In it there's one sign that I think it says open Right.

Travis Rosinger:

I don't know what else exactly that sign said. Yeah, it might have said that, but it was also like we weren't really sure.

Dawn Rosinger:

Yeah, we weren't 100% sure, but we're like, well, we'll turn in now on this driveway, and we began to drive down this long driveway.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and it was down, but it was like kind of up first and then over the sale and then down the driveway. And what's so wild about going to an Amish farm to buy some of their products? It's not like going to a local grocery store or to a local hardware store. You're actually driving to somebody's house.

Dawn Rosinger:

You are.

Travis Rosinger:

And in the world today, no matter where you're at in the world I'm sure things have somewhat changed, but especially in the United States, you don't just go up to somebody's house, knock on the door and say, can we come in? Right? No, and that's kind of what you're doing. And then it's also with these people who you know. They speak a whole different language. A lot of them speak German or Dutch, they have strong accents, but then they're living a completely different lifestyle. So you're like kind of budding your way into their lives or just kind of dropping in and it feels rude. So it took you and I a little bit of like we had to talk ourselves into this.

Dawn Rosinger:

Yeah, a little bit of guts to go in there, even though we know they're very kind people. But it was just a little apprehension because I don't really want people knocking at my door wanting to buy my cookies. I don't know, I just can't imagine, or my you know anything that I make or my decorations on the wall, like that would be odd if someone just came and knocked on a door but there was a map and people said that that's what you kind of do down there, yeah you just drive down there and driveway.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah Well, we started going over the hill and started going down into this first Amish farm that we were wanting to get some, you know, some of the different, maybe bakery items, but also some of the different products that they handmade and sell. And so we kind of started coming down the hill into their property. And that's when we saw like a house on the right that had kind of a workshop, a house on the left and then it looked like they were building a third house and it was like almost like this little community and we kind of come down the hill and there we saw this little like store.

Dawn Rosinger:

Like a little shed, but a very brand new one. Like many, many house or many yeah.

Travis Rosinger:

But there was no one else there. It's you and I, and all of a sudden there's this Amish guy on the right.

Dawn Rosinger:

But there was a sign on that one that said open.

Travis Rosinger:

There was, there was Not a bright sign they made it.

Dawn Rosinger:

So we decided to park our car and I looked at you and I'm like, can you get out first? I was just a little apprehensive, you were a little nervous. But then we noticed on the right, just a few feet from you, there was a gentleman. He had suspenders on and you could tell he was working on the yard, and so we opened our car doors. We jumped out and we're like, hey, are you open? He goes, well, it says open, but he was really nice.

Dawn Rosinger:

And so we walked into his you know, this cabinet, this house, and began to look at all like the honey and the jams and the rugs, and the rugs and the baskets, and it was just amazing, all these things that they make themselves.

Travis Rosinger:

So many homemade things and made so well, it's like you want to walk in and buy it all.

Dawn Rosinger:

Yeah, the quality is very well yeah.

Travis Rosinger:

But I think one of the big things was, you know, certainly going in there and finding some things. I found a jar of honey and you started talking to this guy.

Dawn Rosinger:

We introduced ourselves. We shook his hand or, like you know, told him who we were, or just our names, and he said his name was Emery.

Dawn Rosinger:

And I was like, oh hi, emery, and you grabbed the honey jar and I looked at it and I so I asked him because I'm like, well, it doesn't look like it doesn't have a. You know the packaging of a store so you can tell they made this. And so I began to talk to him about his honey and he showed me where his beehives were and that that's what they do.

Travis Rosinger:

That's part of what he does is he has beehives and makes honey.

Dawn Rosinger:

It's his bees.

Travis Rosinger:

He has pet bees, but yeah yeah, like he literally raises the bees that made the honey that's in the jar that we ended up buying. But I think one of the cool things too was just shaking his hand and saying, hey, I'm Travis, and he said I'm Emery and just it's like I'm sitting there going wait a second. We are on an Amish guy's farm and we're talking to him and just us and him and he looks straight up cool, like amazing.

Dawn Rosinger:

Had that flat rimmed hats.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, I had the big bushy beard, but without the mustache, and he just looked like he walked straight out of the history books or a movie, and so we just were having an absolute bad blast talking to him and getting to know a little bit about his life and how long they've homesteaded there in that area, and really nice guy.

Dawn Rosinger:

So we, you know, grabbed our supplies and our butterscotch cookies, you guys, and he asked me if I wanted to beg. I'm like, well, no, I'll probably just start eating those in the car. And he laughed and so we went back into our car and we open the cookies and they were so good they were amazing. They were very, very good butterscotch cookies and they made our way off that farm and then drove around and found a couple other farms and then we found Amish home and they have a bakery.

Travis Rosinger:

Like a straight up like normal full-fledged bakery, but part of their house. It looked like a house, yeah.

Dawn Rosinger:

But in there we opened the door and just amazing baked goods, fresh bread and pastries and cookies and oh my, that was phenomenal. And like these, apple turnovers there was three huge apple turnovers made with real apples for $2.50. And I'm like you know you could probably charge more for these. I was trying. They didn't charge a lot for their items and they were so good. But she was just a nice gal. I asked her what her favorite thing was and so I bought her favorite thing and just chatted with her as much as we could. She wasn't quite as talkative as Emery was and it was just a fun, pleasant day. We paid for our things and we drove away. We were like what a cool experience. And then each time that we drove by one of their farms we would just look at their windmills and they didn't have electricity and we're like what a simple life. But they're working so hard, they're all working, but they've just definitely made life a little more simpler.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and it's all handmade. It's everything that they're doing or that they have is really been because of their hard work and being handmade. And I think just driving away and eating those bakery goods as we were coming back to Minneapolis, I think for both of us talking to the Amish people that we met and really getting a glimpse into the simple life that they live, it got our minds just racing and thinking about the need for more simplicity in our own lives, in our own marriage, both with busyness of life and spiritually, like spiritual simplicity. And there's this passage in the Bible that kind of lends itself to thinking about their lives, but really thinking about how we can make our lives more simple, and it talks about stripping back your life and getting really really basic, super, super simplistic.

Travis Rosinger:

So in Hebrews, chapter 12, verse one, it says this "'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, for the joy set before him. He endured the cross, scorning a shame, and he sat down at the right hand thrown of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart'". Oh, I love this passage. That's great.

Travis Rosinger:

This passage is, I think, what anybody needs in 2023, no matter where you're living in the world. This passage is so helpful why? Because I think it addresses some things that many of us individually struggle with, but especially in our marriages, and in our lives and in life in general.

Dawn Rosinger:

Absolutely I love this. I feel like this passage actually is a formula and equation on how to live a much simpler physical and spiritual life. And honestly, after going to the Amish farms and just kind of looking through a lens a little bit of their life and the simple life, but then looking at this passage and what can we do to try to live a simpler, just more basic life, in this passage the formula is this throw off plus fix your eyes on Jesus equals you won't grow weary or lose heart. So throw off and adding in fixing your eyes on Jesus, you won't grow weary or lose heart. That's such a simple formula.

Dawn Rosinger:

It's like one plus one equals three, right? No, I'm sorry, one plus one equals two?

Travis Rosinger:

I hope not, I'm sorry. One plus one equals two. If one plus one equals three, there are planes that are gonna crash everywhere. There are houses that are gonna collapse.

Dawn Rosinger:

Stop that. You're already nuts Cause I'm such a, I love math.

Travis Rosinger:

And you're really good at it. I love math. Anyways, that's hilarious.

Dawn Rosinger:

So throw off, fix your eyes on Jesus and you won't grow weary or lose heart.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and we're gonna come back to that in a second, but before we go any further, here's what I think is a underlying theme in the passage that we just read that really impacts all of our lives in a, you know, having this stripped down, simplistic marriage, and it would be this you have control of you. That's really what this passage is talking about, that God gives us several things through the book of Hebrews that we all can do. But here's the thing I can't make you do these things and you can't make me do these things. Why? Because we can make ourselves do them in response to the truth, but I'm not in control of you, dianne. You're not in control of me. I am in control of me, and to me that's an underlying theme.

Travis Rosinger:

Where do I get that from? Because he says to us he says throw off or fix your eyes on Jesus and then guess what? You're not going to grow weary or lose heart. And those are things that I can do. I can't blame somebody else. I can't expect somebody else to do it for me. Those are things that I must do Right.

Dawn Rosinger:

I agree and honestly, if you think about life, life can just get hectic. Marriage can get hectic. We add so many things to our schedule, so many things to our lives, Trying to keep up with everybody, comparing ourselves to everybody. Life can get chaotic and just out of control quickly. But if we realize that we actually can have a little bit of control, we can make the choices and choose to do these things and try to live a simpler basic life, then why aren't we? That's what we need to try to do. I just feel like life and marriage, everything would be way more enjoyable.

Travis Rosinger:

Oh, I couldn't agree more. And so really starts with throw off. Let's kind of go through this formula really fast, but kind of let it sink down deep and think it through. So what is he saying throughout? He says everything that hinders. That's really important, because if you're trying to run a race and there's somebody that's like hanging on to you and they're kind of like pulling on you and you're trying to get forward, it's hard to do. That. It is yeah.

Travis Rosinger:

And so really he's just pointing out there are things that hinder, and a lot of times it is. There are things that aren't sin, they're just things that kind of get in our way or distract us or keep us from running down the road and being streamlined, and so it's probably an over loaded schedule, it could too many commitments, there could just be so many things that kind of fall into that category that they're not sin but they hinder. But then he says throw off what hinders. But then he says and the sin that entangles and that's really important because it's not just something that's hindering you or slowing you down, that might not be sin, but then he's calling out the actual sin. There are things in our lives that entangle us in a web and really begin to immobilize us spiritually, physically, they destroy or hurt our lives.

Travis Rosinger:

And he's like you can do something, you're in control. You have yes, god is in control ultimately of everything, but we have a free will, we have the ability to make daily decisions for ourselves, for our marriage and for our family. And so, you know, he's just like get rid of these things, get rid of the things they hinder. But even the sins, the sins that are dark, that no one else knows about, the sins that are there, that maybe seem light and easy and not that big of a deal, but at the end of the day, they're not helping us get closer to God, they're pulling us away from God. And then he adds the second thing that we need to do, and that is fix our eyes on Jesus. And this is where I really think of the Amish people. We're not trying to promote, you know, the Amish faith or religion, we don't know a lot about that but just their simplistic way of life. Man, when I think of this, fix your eyes on Jesus, don. It can't get any more simplistically simple.

Dawn Rosinger:

No, just keep your eyes on Jesus. And what does that mean?

Travis Rosinger:

It means gaze in one direction, Don I remember when I first laid eyes on you and I was like head over heels. I couldn't look anywhere else. All I wanted to do was look at this beautiful young woman. You had amazing hair and these gorgeous brown eyes, and that's all I wanted to do was look at you.

Dawn Rosinger:

I still have brown eyes, you do, and you still have beautiful hair.

Travis Rosinger:

But you know what I mean, like I couldn't look anywhere else. And you know what, honestly, guys, I think he's getting at is most of us have our eyes in other places, right?

Dawn Rosinger:

Yeah.

Travis Rosinger:

Most of us are totally distracted, we're confused, we're allowing other things to come in. No, look one direction. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Kind of like the Amish, they work with their hands, they make things and they sell them, and it's so cool. Here's what I love, though. The result is you won't grow weary or lose heart, and the reason why I think that's so relevant to all of us in our world today is because there's so many people that have massive anxiety or stress or fear. And he's going look, if you keep your eyes on Jesus and part of it is he says consider him, who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you won't lose heart or grow weary. What is that? Considering him? It's keeping your eyes on Jesus. What did Jesus do when he went to the cross? And so thinking that through and that's what I want that is powerful for our marriage, that's powerful for my individual life, your life, don it just is going to make a big difference.

Dawn Rosinger:

It's funny because, as you're talking about this, I just kept thinking you know, we're runners and so when we run in the morning I don't want to be holding anything at all, like if I even have my phone in my hand. It's driving me crazy. But if I'm running with things in my arms and I'm not looking at the finish and I'm not looking at the goal at the end, I honestly I'm going to grow weary, Like I'm going to not want to finish, I'm going to want to just give up. But so I keep putting it through the terms or the, you know the thoughts of a runner. But in life, why, why are we carrying so many things that are just heavy or, you know, causing us to really lose focus and keeping our eyes fixed on something that isn't Jesus? That isn't the goal? We will grow weary. So, just, I love the formula. It's so simple Throw off, fix your eyes, you won't grow weary.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and that weary is cool, because he says weary, which would be physically, you know, tired, but then he says, or lose heart, which really is like a spiritually weak. You become discouraged and so that's cool. So how about you? What area are areas of your life and marriage are way too busy and causing you physical exhaustion or spiritual exhaustion? What do you need to throw? What are?

Dawn Rosinger:

things in your life that are really just getting in the way, things such as, maybe, sports. Maybe sports in and of themselves aren't bad, but if you're watching them every single night of the week, or you are out there playing them every single night of the week, maybe that's just too much. What about climbing the work ladder, where you're just a workaholic and work is everything to you and you're just carrying this and you're not letting go? Or maybe you're just over committed in life in general, and maybe the commitments they're good, but maybe they're over committed and you can't spend the quality time with your spouse or with your kids, with your family. Or, lastly, what about addictions?

Dawn Rosinger:

Addictions are physically and spiritually exhausting, so maybe there's something that your body is craving and needing and always have and have, and it's just causing weariness. Those are just some things that like, just get rid of them, throw them off, don't let them be a part of your life. So what do you need to strip away from your marriage or in your life? And I know, travis, we are always evaluating. We are not perfect. There's things that we have to make sure that we're evaluating, to make sure that we are living a very balanced life. And so I know recently we did this again. There are certain things that we decided that we are going to throw off.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, for me, I think a big part of it comes out of, kind of the spiritual awakening that I've been going through. And just like you said, don, just analyzing my life and you analyzing your life and again hanging out with Emory and the Amish people, and it's like, okay, what, what don't I need in my life? And so for me, just some personal examples I've really cut out the news Now. You and I we've always kind of watched about 15 minutes to 30 minutes of news like local news and some headline news, national news. But I used to read the news like a lot on my phone, like constantly being up on the news and reading the news, and so I don't want to put my head in the sand anymore. But I've stopped, I'm not reading the news anymore. Right, that's one of those things that I think isn't a sin, but it's hindering me, because now I'm able to read more of the Bible, now I'm able to think more about God thoughts and not getting discouraged from the news. I also have cut out pretty much all social media.

Dawn Rosinger:

I'm not saying I'm never on there anymore, but if I am, it's for like five seconds literally five seconds, unless you're on there for your job, which sometimes we have to run our Facebook pages or whatever.

Travis Rosinger:

But yeah, I'm talking personally. In my life, you're our marriage, our lives, and so I just I just don't do social media anymore and it doesn't mean I won't be on there tomorrow Maybe. Maybe I'll just suddenly feel like I should, but I've stripped it away and I feel great getting rid of the news. I feel amazing not having to feel like I'm on social media anymore. And then also entertainment. I've just like I'm not against entertainment, I'm not saying all of it's sinful or bad, but I don't need it. I don't need much of it in my life. And so really being careful, what I'm watching, what I'm taking in you and I and you and I done, and then also negative thoughts, and just not allowing negative thoughts to rule in my mind or even sinful thoughts, and just saying no, I'm not going to do that. And again, being in charge of me. I am in charge and throwing these things off and getting rid of them and I'm fixing my eyes on Jesus. That one gaze.

Dawn Rosinger:

I think for me as well. I think the entertainment piece we I'm just not a big TV watcher or Netflix, or I'm just not, because I'm not, because I realized that I love podcasts and messages so much more and they're giving me truth and they're feeding me. So I want to get rid of the entertainment that's kind of the useless entertainment that really does, has, adds no value to your life. And just take that time now and just listen to podcasts or watch messages. I know another thing when I get stressed or anxious, instead of like calling someone up or trying to solve it or just sitting there and meditating, I will just jump up, I'll grab my AirPods and I'll go for a run to get my heart up. Honestly, I just why take the time to worry or have anxiety about something when I can do something about it and get rid of it? And I also little something that I do just to make my life a little simpler.

Dawn Rosinger:

I try and order my day by efficiency. Why work harder when you work smarter? So I'm intentional in planning my days out and trying to make life a little simpler. So, when it comes to like doing errands, I kind of do my errands in a pattern in order to, like I look at it, I'm like okay if I go here, here, here and it's more of an efficient pattern, but just trying to really get rid of the you know the time that I'm just wasting, when I can just plan it out a little bit more and be more efficient it takes a little more prep time on the front end, but just be more efficient in my errands. So those are just a few things that I know that I have trying to throw off and I'm continuing to work on because I don't want to carry baggage. I just want to live a simpler life where I can just love you, love the kids, love Jesus and tell people about Jesus.

Travis Rosinger:

Like honestly, that's what I want to do so good and again, going back to that, those moments with those several different Amish people and just looking at their lives, their farms, their way of life Wow, it just, it just brings peace and it just is a reminder we don't have to live like the rest of society tells us to live. And you even just talking about efficiency, don why? Because that it's so cool. You can then put that extra time that you've gained into just more simplistic things.

Travis Rosinger:

So, just be still and know that I am God. We read that in the Bible and it's like oh, I don't have to be as rushed, I don't have to be, you know, as out of control. Again, just a simple formula throw off those things that hinder or cause you to sin, and then fix your eyes on Jesus. And what does that equal? You won't grow weary or lose heart.

Dawn Rosinger:

But we just want to thank you for listening to this episode of the loving the fight marriage podcast. Remember you can do it. You got this. Keep loving the fight. See you next time.