Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast

Episode 154 | How to Build a Spiritual Altar In Your Marriage

• Travis Rosinger and Dawn Rosinger

Share episode

How do you remember something important, something memorable, something you never want to forget? Hopefully you start a tradition or take a piece of that experience with you into the future that will always bring you back to that time, that moment. In the Old Testament God's people would build an altar as a way of acknowledging God's existence  in their lives but also acknowledge His help in whatever they had accomplished. When it comes to God in marriage, how can couples do the same? How do you build a spiritual altar in your marriage so you never forget God and you never forget what He has done for you?

Join hosts Travis and Dawn Rosinger as they share some uniquely funny experiences that caused them to think about how they need to continue to build a spiritual altar in their marriage. They also share tips they wished someone would have shared with them when they first started out in marriage. This episode will challenge you to dig deeper spiritually but to also reflect on what could be missing from your marriage! Be sure to listen to this; you won't regret it!

Travis and Dawn Rosinger are the Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast Hosts and Authors of the books, Verbalosity - 7 Steps to a Verbally Generous and More Fulfilling Marriage and their newest book, Gripping -  What Matters Most | A Life and Relationships That Hold on to You

For more information about Travis and Dawn Rosinger go to Loving The Fight

Dawn Rosinger:

Well, it's late at night and we decided we were going to stay up late, and we hope that you are too. We want to welcome you to the Love in the Fight Marriage podcast. My name is Dawn and I'm sitting here with my husband and my co-host, travis.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, I'm here too and I am so glad that you guys are tuning in. I don't know if you're up late or early in the morning or what it is, but man, we sure appreciate you taking the time to listen and really just focusing your lives and your marriage on Jesus. Yeah, absolutely.

Dawn Rosinger:

We normally record these in the morning, we're morning people but today was very busy but productive day got a lot done at work, so now we're sitting here, like you know what, let's record our podcast because we have something we want to share with you all today.

Travis Rosinger:

We definitely do, and it's going to be a good one, because this is something that has never happened to us before. Maybe you just said that, dawn, but it's true, never happened to us before, and there's probably another couple out there that it has happened to, but we haven't met them yet.

Dawn Rosinger:

Yeah, and honestly, even as this happened and we were telling people what we did, people actually asked more questions, because it's kind of a unique thing.

Travis Rosinger:

A unique thing, a very rare thing. So, dawn, what did you do a week ago?

Dawn Rosinger:

that is so unusual, I think I have to remind everyone maybe this is your first time listening to the podcast. Travis and I, we are both pastors and so that's what we do in our day jobs. We love our church, we love people, we love what we do. But when you are a pastor, there's certain things that you get to do as a part of your role, and that's like you get to officiate weddings, you help with funerals, you could do hospital visits just so many cool things, life events that you get to be a part of. Well, this last week, we both officiated a wedding, which was fun.

Dawn Rosinger:

Within seven days of each other mine, was last weekend and yours was this weekend. So we are kind of in wedding mode and just thoughts about the wedding and as you're getting ready to write the message, you're thinking everything wedding.

Travis Rosinger:

Everything and weddings are kind of wild. Actually they can be really crazy. I mean, that just kind of catapults me back to some of the other weddings that I've officiated in the past. Remember the time, don, where I was officiating the wedding and I leaned over to the best man and I said can I have the rings?

Dawn Rosinger:

Yeah, I remember this well.

Travis Rosinger:

And he just looked at me and the groom and it was digging in his pockets, and I mean-.

Dawn Rosinger:

The best man forgot them, right? Well-, I think it was his fault. Actually, I don't think he just forgot them.

Travis Rosinger:

He lost them. He left them upstairs in the building and no one could find them and no one told them that they were lost, because he had just set them there, and so that was a little odd. I pulled my wedding ring finger off and Not your wedding ring finger.

Dawn Rosinger:

That would hurt your wedding ring off of your finger.

Travis Rosinger:

My wedding ring off of my finger and, yeah, I pulled it off and I handed it to him. I said, hey, you guys can use this. And they said absolutely. And we went on with the wedding.

Dawn Rosinger:

Yeah, and honestly, you couldn't really tell that that happened. You could see something a little bit, but it didn't ruin the wedding. Actually, it made it very memorable for the bride and groom because your hands are a little bit smaller. That groom had pretty big hands.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, big thick, hands.

Dawn Rosinger:

So I think your ring went to like his first knuckle, Maybe yeah, but it worked.

Travis Rosinger:

It worked in a pinch. And I also think of one of the ones that I officiated where we had our backs to a beauty, beautiful lake and the bride and groom were facing the lake but my back, I should say, was against the lake and the whole group of people that were there, the audience, the families and friends. They were facing with the bride and groom, the lake, and the wedding started. There was music and we started to kind of say things and read scriptures or whatever it was. And then we got about seven minutes into the wedding and that's when the bride leaned over at me and she said, hey, can you, can you cut to the vows? And I was like huh, what's going on? And then she looked over my shoulder and I turned and I looked and there was this massive wall of water coming across the lake.

Travis Rosinger:

It was a huge storm, one of those pop up shower storms, and it was heading our way, and so I took her advice. I immediately cut to the vows. They agreed to be married before God, and then, oh my Yep, a storm.

Dawn Rosinger:

We all got drenched. If rain is good luck on a wedding, they definitely would have you know. Their marriage should be doing great right now.

Dawn Rosinger:

It absolutely would be, you know what's funny about that wedding is I was in the audience again I think I've been to most of the weddings that you have officiated and I was the only one with an umbrella, and so I was like, okay, I'll just take out my umbrella. But I was sitting next to the sound guy and he had this huge system and he had no plastic or no umbrella, so sad.

Dawn Rosinger:

He had this panic on his face that it was going to ruin his equipment and I was like, oh no, my hair, if I give him my umbrella, my hair is going to get destroyed. But of course I did. I handed him my umbrella, he was able to cover up his equipment and I just got soaked. But very memorable day.

Travis Rosinger:

You took one for team bride. I think, oh man, that was so nice of you. But yeah, they've spent tens of thousands of dollars and it was a seven minute wedding. It was a seven minute wedding.

Dawn Rosinger:

Yeah, we've learned a lot over the last what 27 years of being in ministry being able to just really have these life events with people, and they're amazing. One thing I really like about weddings, though, is you get a chance to meet the bride and groom. You know you do some premarital counseling we go through a thing called Symbus, which means saving your marriage before it starts an assessment but you really get a chance to just get to know them and listen to their story and listen to their life, and these last two couples the one that I officiated and the couple that you did this week man, we just really they're amazing, like they're awesome couples.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, they were so cool.

Dawn Rosinger:

They're really trying to honor God with their life and with their relationship and putting God first. And so the whole process was fun, and when you get to that day where you're actually doing the officiating and you get to announce them husband and wife and they can kiss their bride, it's such a special moment.

Travis Rosinger:

It is.

Dawn Rosinger:

That they get to share together, knowing that they were honoring God with their relationship.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, so true. And your wedding last weekend, obviously before mine this weekend, yours was beautiful, amazing, but there was something a little bit different right, it was very hot.

Dawn Rosinger:

So, you guys, we live in Minnesota, so it doesn't normally get hot, but it was just a hot day. We had an extremely hot and humid week. Like we were hitting the heat indexes and it was about, I don't know closer 95, 97 degrees, just pure humidity. And so the wedding began and I could see the guests and the sun was just facing them. There was not an ounce of shade anywhere. We're outside and I felt like they were melting. I was like, oh no, they're melting. So my back is towards the sun and so I'm definitely sweating on my back, but it wasn't on my face. And so, as the couple came down, I looked at my watch and I was like, oh no, these poor guys, like we have to get through this, and cut to the vows.

Dawn Rosinger:

So there's a couple things actually cut out of that wedding because I felt so bad. So we from start to finish it was about 27 minutes we tried to make it as special as possible. They wouldn't have known what I cut out but I just felt so bad for the guests. But such a fun wedding to be a part of and great couple.

Dawn Rosinger:

I brought up their cat and they thought that was amazing that I brought up their cat in the middle of their wedding and I included their you know their their co-parenting skills on raising the cat. Yeah, but it was fun. They're a neat couple.

Travis Rosinger:

It's so cool. And then, completely opposite, seven days later, the wedding that I officiated. In terms of weather, you had 115 heat index. I don't know what it was, but mine mine was barely 80 degrees and there was a breeze and tons of shade. The best weather. It was incredible weather. But again, just like your couple, a different couple, that man, they just wanted Jesus to be the focus of their lives and their marriage. And such a fun experience.

Dawn Rosinger:

The biggest difference, though. Honestly, you got to have a wedding date and I didn't.

Travis Rosinger:

You weren't able to go to my wedding. That's true. That's true.

Dawn Rosinger:

Thanks for coming with In the middle of church so you weren't able to leave. But I got to be your wedding date and it was fun. We got to dress up and just really meet some cool people.

Travis Rosinger:

Oh, so much fun. Well, as we thought about what the couples just did that got married these past two weekends, we kind of realized something, something that was kind of fun and kind of intriguing and maybe something that the Holy Spirit just pointed out. But it's this couples actually go to the altar I mean, that's what it's called, right, right, they come to the altar, they make their vows before God and their family and friends, and so, you know, we thought about that, how they go to get married at the wedding altar. And it's really cool, because that same word is used in the Old Testament, that word altar, and what was it? It was a symbol of what God had done, and it was also they would build an altar after God did something cool, and it was a way for them to physically remember, to always remember, to not forget what God had done, to say, okay, we built this, we're never going to forget you guys.

Dawn Rosinger:

We're never going to forget. It meant something. Yep, this great day.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, it was so, so cool. But so how do we do that in marriage, like, how do you build a spiritual altar for your marriage, a place where you can say hey, my marriage is built on Jesus Christ and we're never going to forget that? God, we know what you've done, we know what you've worked in our hearts to get us to this point. But, god, we also don't ever want to forget you, right? Yeah?

Dawn Rosinger:

So there's this verse in the Bible that goes so well with this. It's found in James 4, verses 7 through 10. And it says this submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts so you double-minded Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Travis Rosinger:

This verse has some killer spiritual wisdom in it, but really, if you think about it, it's kind of a spiritual foundation of building an altar in your life and in your marriage. I mean, what is it saying? It starts with submit to God, and I think that that is a great starting place in terms of we need to submit our thoughts, we need to submit you know our emotions we need to submit our desires or the decisions that we're about to make. So submitting to God is really cool because we want to be our own gods sometimes or we want to be in control of our own lives, and it's saying no way, god, I'm going to let you be in control of my marriage.

Dawn Rosinger:

It then goes on to say resist the devil and he will flee from you. So what does it mean to resist the devil? There's going to be temptations and things that are thrown at you and resist like stop, do not allow them to come into your life or come into your heart. Resist it.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and I think resisting is also just saying no, no you don't have it right here. You're not going to stay in my house, you're not going to stay in my life, you will not stay in my marriage. No, get out of here. Satan.

Travis Rosinger:

That's really what you're saying, the next part of building a spiritual altar. It says draw close to God. And this is probably the most important part. When we draw close to God, we are saying I'm going to pull myself away from my life, I'm going to pull myself away from my own desires, my own thoughts, and I'm just going to draw close to God and focus on him. But I don't know if you get a sense from the way this is talking, but draw close. It's kind of like snuggling up to your spouse on a cold winter night and you get as close as you possibly can get to them and it feels so incredible, so amazing, and that's really the kind of connotation or the picture that this passage is really trying to paint Draw close, get near him, let yourself hear him breathe around you and just to feel him that close to you.

Dawn Rosinger:

As we go further into this verse, it says to wash your spiritual hands. And it's funny, we tell our grandkids to wash the icky stickies off of their hands, and so they run to the sink and they make a mess, but they're washing their hands. And that's what we need to do. We need to get the junk, the garbage that's out of our you know, in our lives, and completely get rid of it, purify our hearts and just try to walk in that.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and when we get rid of those things, those sinful things, that kind of build up in our life, or even the guilt or the maybe the things that we've done wrong in the past, and we get rid of all that, it unblocks our communication channel between us and God and allows us to just walk in the spirit. And then the last thing it says and really we're talking about building a spiritual altar in your marriage is, it says, to humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord. Yeah, and that is really really important. I think it's easy to get caught up in pride or to think that, well, hey, we've accomplished this or we've done that, or even to put ourselves above others and to look down on other people. This just says humble yourself.

Dawn Rosinger:

What does that mean?

Travis Rosinger:

It means eat dirt, get on the ground, get as low as you possibly can get and just realize that everything, and especially God, is far, far above you. So humble yourself, get low, and the benefit it says, that the kind of result when you do this in your individual life or in your marriage. It says and he, who is the, he, god, god, will lift you up. And that is so important.

Dawn Rosinger:

It's so cool to look at this scripture and then think about building that spiritual altar for our marriage. Again, it talks about submitting to God and then resisting the devil. Draw close to God, wash your spiritual hands and humble yourselves. Now those are five key steps. That's how we can build an altar, a spiritual altar for marriage.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, and by the way it works. It does Like. You want personal and you want marital revival, like spiritual revival in your life, do these things and God is going to show up. You're gonna not have evil in your life and such cool miracles are going to happen.

Dawn Rosinger:

So the last week or two, as we were preparing to officiate these weddings and we think about the two young couples that we just officiated the weddings for, we think of some key things that every couple must simply do, it's really hard to officiate a wedding and think about marriage and the vows that they're making and not think of your own wedding. So both of us were like man, like, let's focus on our marriage, just really look into it. So what are some simple things that every couple must do? You guys, we get to celebrate our anniversary in just a few weeks.

Dawn Rosinger:

We will hit that milestone and, honestly, 31 years we will hit it, it's amazing. I can't believe it's been 31 years. But there is some things, simple things, that we can just wanted to share with you guys before we leave for the night or go to bed, because it's so late, that we just wanted to let you guys know.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, things that we wish somebody would have told us 31 years ago.

Dawn Rosinger:

Things that are absolute must in marriage and again, I feel like they are simple things, but things that you might have to you don't have it become a part of your routine get used to. The first one is just pray together daily and worship together weekly. This has to be a non-negotiable if you want to resist the devil and to draw close to God. Again, make sure you're doing that daily and weekly. The next thing is to look to the needs of your spouse. Help them to become all that God wants them to be. Make your marriage about your spouse and helping them succeed at all that God has for them. Again, just really making sure that you're uplifting your spouse and you're encouraging them and you're loving on them.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, I think, don, when you do that for me and our marriage, and you're just encouraging me, you're doing all these nice things for me, you're helping me to become, you know, that kind of person that can succeed in the will that God has for my life man, you just explode, the goodwill in our marriage, and it makes me just, in turn, go, oh my gosh, she's helping me so much. She's helping me to do the things that God has for me. I want to help her, I want to, you know, have goodwill towards her. And it's so cyclical and it just creates this tidal wave of goodness that splashes back and forth between a husband and wife.

Dawn Rosinger:

Another thing is to make sexual intimacy a top priority. If it's a top priority, then you won't think about using it as a weapon and you will both have a deeper glue that will hold you together. I love that. This last weekend, travis, you actually talked. You said the word sex as you were officiating the wedding, and it's funny because you don't normally hear that word, but it's so true. These couples were about to man enjoy sex for the first time together and celebrate that. But God made sexual intimacy for marriage, so make it a top priority.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, it's kind of wild because in the Bible and I'm putting this in my own words, but the Bible literally says to couples don't stop having sex unless you're praying and fasting, and then come right back together again, because it says otherwise the devil will tempt you and in a way, it really does start to allow the evil one to creep back into your life if you're not staying close together. And just again, almost that closeness that we talked about with God earlier, but that closeness with your spouse, that intimacy, that is amazing.

Dawn Rosinger:

You know what we just went through three of the five things that every couple must simply do. The next one is this and I always talk about saying I need to get this tattoo to my arm, but it's be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become Angry. Ultimately, control your emotions in all situations, in all circumstances, to the best of your ability. We're human and we're gonna have bad days, but do your best to make sure that your quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. And lastly, protect your marriage at all costs and, literally, fight for it, both physically and spiritually. Man, we call this podcast loving the fight we do a reason we do that you guys fight for your marriage.

Dawn Rosinger:

Don't give up. Keep going to have to the enemy and say no, I am not gonna allow the enemy to come in getting between us and destroy our marriage, and stand firm in that.

Travis Rosinger:

Yeah, I think it's an all-out war. I think that when a husband and wife realizes that if they're gonna, you know we're crossing 31 year Line of like, okay, we've been together this long Dawn and 31 years. Have we ever had to fight for our?

Travis Rosinger:

Marriage yeah, absolutely every single day we have to fight for our marriage yeah, and then there's, you know, there's those little things every single day that we're fighting together Against whatever is trying to pull us apart. But you know, I even remember there are moments in our lives where maybe somebody tried to reach out to me Romantically, or maybe somebody was flirting with you, or or maybe there was just the pressure of life or the stress of her Jobs or whatever it is that's just trying to pull us apart. And you know, in those moments it's like no, we rip up the note from the person that you know at work that's flirting with us, or Are we, you know, put up the, the picture of your spouse, me, your husband, on your desk, or whatever it is. It's like sometimes it's physically so we're not talking physically fight against somebody else, but sometimes it's it is like no, I'm not gonna be a part of this, and I'm gonna completely go the other.

Dawn Rosinger:

Direction. Yeah, that's good. I appreciate that, and it's something that we have to choose to do every single day. Well, hey, everyone, I think it's about time for bed. Like we started off, this is a late podcast for us, and so we're about to crawl into bed, but we just want to thank you for listening to this episode of the loving the fight marriage podcast. Remember, you can do it, you've got this. Keep loving the fight.

Travis Rosinger:

We'll see you next time.

Dawn Rosinger:

You.